Save the date: How to impress that special someone on Valentine’s Day

Bayes marketing expert lists five top tips for daters.

With another Valentine’s Day upon us, you may have booked a table at your favourite restaurant, a pair of tickets to see the latest release at the cinema, a round of crazy golf or organised a cosy night in.

You may also be meeting somebody for the very first time, and be wondering how to impress in the presence of other couples.

Dr Janina Steinmetz, Reader in Marketing at Bayes Business School offers her top five communication tips for wowing your Valentine’s date.

1. Brag, but with humility

“You might want to tell your date about some of your accomplishments, and that's perfectly fine and understandable. After all, your proud moments should be shared. If you want to do this, however, do it openly and don't try to hide it.

“This tip might sound counterintuitive, but people often brag ‘badly’ when they try to hide it within a complaint or fake humility. So, instead of saying that you have no idea why you got your promotion that comes with much extra work anyway, simply say that you're happy you got promoted.”

2. Emphasise hard work

“While we're talking about accomplishments, even if you're superhuman you probably worked hard for your success. Don't forget to mention this because your efforts will make you seem relatable to your date, who will see the work you like to put in to achieve results.

“Remember that you'll want to feel connection, and your struggles will give them a chance to connect with you in more meaningful ways than simply admiring your success. We’re only human after all.”

3. Be careful with compliments

“If you give a compliment, be sincere and don't try to make it just about you.

“For example, if you enjoy running marathons and your date asks you questions about your hobbies, don't reply with things like ‘you're actually well-versed for a running novice’. That will just put your date down.

“Instead, compliment something that you seriously admire about them in return. This way you’ll keep the focus of the conversation on them and allow them to speak confidently about something important or special to them.”

4. Be kind about others

“Don't talk negatively about other people.

“If you say things like, "none of my co-workers have a clue about anything" you may think you'll look competent in comparison but it can often have the opposite effect in social situations.

“Your date might worry that being disparaging about others and finding fault are traits of yours, and fear the same treatment towards themselves to others at some stage.

“Bad-mouthing others can be very off-putting.”

5. Ask plenty of questions

“Enough about you: find out about them and don't talk too much about yourself.

“This should be a no-brainer, but it is common for people to be too self-focused on dates – often through nerves.

“Don't be shy to ask your date questions or even solicit their advice when they're an expert on something.

“This gives them their own opportunity to talk about passions in life, which will flatter them and help to develop deeper conversation and connection.”

All quotes should be attributed to Dr Janina Steinmetz, Reader in Marketing at Bayes Business School.

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